Since the end of Sep until now, I don't know whether I am in bad luck or not in good condition or stressful, 3 incidents happened in my department which is related to me. I can't say they are solely my fault but I have the responsibilities for these incidents. Whenever there is something happened, I will review myself and remind myself don't allow this happened again. However, there still lots of things can happen. If I know it is wrong, of course I won't let it happened. But I am so stupid that I can't altert the problems before it happened. What can I do? I always do the self-talk "I'm ok", "I will be fine", "Don't worry, I will do it better next time", "I shouldn't affect by others", I shouldn't think or afraid of somethings which I can't control", " I should keep myself be confident" ........ Whenever I face difficulties or in trouble, I need to adjust my mood and comfort myself to cheer myself up so that I won't affect my performance or let others notice that I don't have the confidence. I know how to comfort myself and be optimistic, but it is hard to really do it. My manager said that as I am an officer and thus I need to be a good model. I hate myself why I can't do as good as others. How can I improve myself? These few months really sad and hard for me. I am not sure whether I am so stressful about my work and study or I am too weak to withstand, everyday every moment I want to cry to release my sadness.  But I didn't do so as I don't want to make others worry about me. Moreover, when I think deeply, I shouldn't cry because of these small setback as it is normal in our daily life that everyone may have this experience. I should stay strong. Now, the most relax and happy time is to watch <宮心計> & <老婆十聯盟> & sleep at home. The only time I can relax and laugh happily and truely. I don't know what will happen in the future, but I need to stay strong and keep my standard. I should improve myself and get rid of my bad habit..... Hope I can really do so.

雖然辛苦，幸好一直有他和爸媽在旁。

對於他，不想給他負擔，但又需要他的支持和幫助，實在矛盾。願他永遠健康快樂。

踏入9月，Master Course 開始了。沒錯，我又報讀了一個 2-year Master Course in Strategy  Human Resources Management. 這個Course 真的好demanding. 好多功課, group project, group meeting and self reading.好多唔明的地方，上堂好多 group discussion and presentation, so much pressure.....This is the differences between Business course and Science course? 好想自己對個group 有多d貢獻, 唔想俾人覺得我無用, 咩都唔識無貢獻。可能我大部份同學都好experienced，識好多野，所以我好有壓力which I didn't have this feel when I studied my Master in Nutrition & Food Technology 2 years before......

Challenges from both work and study really make me feel stress and sometimes helpness. But I know that there are many people who work and study at the same time like me, it is normal and thus I shouldn't have such uncomfortable feeling. I should learn to be mature and how to cope with it. Not sure yet. Now just at the beginning.

雖然明白他有多累，多麼忙碌，壓力有多大，他有多努力，但還是想得到支持鼓勵及關心。其實我很擔心他，怕他太累太辛苦，壓力太大影響健康。算了吧，不應要求，學懂珍惜。不想給別人壓力，也不想給自己煩惱。無知一點，簡單一點，平凡一點也是福。

14/8/2009 Friday

Today I have taken annual leave because I needed to go to see the dentist to do a little surgery - taken out my wisdom teeth on my right lower jaw. The doctor said that it was not an easy operation to take out the wisdom teeth expecially my teeth is close to the nerve. For my case, it was rated as the 2nd top risk. Luckily, I felt extremely painful after the operation, that's meant my nerve was not damaged. Now is the 3rd day after the operation, still very painful and my face was swollen. My face originally is fat and round, now it seems that I've got 3 faces. I can't eat solid and hot food, can't laugh as my mouth not able to open wide. So bad. Together with my skin allergy on my right face, now so poor......When will I recover, both my skin allergy and swollen face???

最近心情唔係太好，可能因為工作繁忙了，壓力大了，功課多了。

今晚真係好唔開心，一來是因為皮膚敏感又嚴重了。已經一直食中藥，但都係咁，好無助，唔知點先會控制到病情。二係因為……

是我有問題嗎﹖好似每次都係我覺得有問題，好唔開心，自己激氣，然後我自己復原坦白講哂出黎。是我要求過份，唔夠體貼；還是他工作太忙壓力大，因而不在意不著緊﹖唔講我知，就永遠唔知唔明。我要努力學習兩個基本點： 遇事瀟灑一點，看事糊塗一點。

這世界上沒有100分的另一半，只有50分的兩個人。